The last few days have taught me a lot about mental health and emotional wellbeing. When that side of you is out of whack it can send everything else into a spin. Pat’s continuing to struggle emotionally, the smallest trigger will set him off in tears or anger and we simply cannot predict what those triggers will be. One day it’s the kids not answering a question the first time, the next it’s us arriving home later than anticipated. Trent is struggling to see his dad so unsteady and he reacts in his own way too – snapping at me or the kids and then feeling remorseful afterwards. We’re all coping in our own ways, for me, I’m using every ounce of strength to be a better mother. The stress wears us all thin and with two unsettled kids we don’t have our usual home, toys, books and routine and it’s easy for things to fall apart. I’m focussing on trying to not take things personally, to support the kids and to explain, explain, explain to Finn every step of the way.
Finn is struggling with the instability. He cries when reprimanded for the smallest infraction and is constantly offering insights and suggestions as to how to make Poppy’s life a little better.
Pat is still refusing to leave the house unless absolutely necessary. We’ll try again this week to encourage him to join us for whale watching or the Outback Spectacular, but I’m not optimistic. I’ve not even mentioned having him join us for our family photos this weekend as I’m worried about how he’ll react.
This weekend we took the kids away for a mini-break at mum’s. The Samford Show was on so we thought it was a good opportunity to show the kids what an Aussie country show is like – dagwood dogs, fireworks, carnies and sideshows. Keeping everyone seems best – making memories and keeping distracted.
Chemo 1-3 was my first visit to the hospital. Kept Pat in high spirits as we laughed our way through his treatment which leads us to this week which is NO CHEMO WEEK – woohoo!! It was shocking to me to see how busy it was – 22 seats, all filled with every shape and size of person, all taking their own toxic cocktail of chemicals in the hope of saving or extending their lives. It was humbling to be reminded that this battle isn’t just ours, it’s touching the lives of many people, every single day.
A final thought.. while waiting for our turn for chemo this week I saw a poem, it’s such a powerful reminder that whilst cancer does many horrible things to those effected, there are many things it cannot do